Free funny SVG files

The jokes in the library in one place: sayings about being late, being tired, the children, the washing and the day ahead, each set in welded lettering. Three versions of each are shown here, and every saying has up to a dozen on its own page.

559 designs in 49 sets. Free for personal and commercial use, no sign-up. What you can do with them.

Probably Late for Something 12 designs

Sorry I’m Late I Didn’t Want to Come 10 designs

I’m Sorry Did I Roll My Eyes Out Loud 10 designs

I Had My Patience Tested I’m Negative 10 designs

I’m Fine It’s Fine Everything Is Fine 10 designs

Nope Not Today 12 designs

I Can’t Adult Today 12 designs

Hot Mess Express 12 designs

Thou Shalt Not Try Me 12 designs

I Got a Good Heart but This Mouth 12 designs

Not Today Satan 12 designs

Why Y’all Tryin to Test the Jesus in Me 10 designs

I Run on Caffeine Chaos and Cuss Words 10 designs

I Don’t Give a Sip 12 designs

Guess What Chicken Butt 12 designs

Honk If a Kid Falls Out 12 designs

If You Can Read This You’re Too Close 10 designs

I Was Normal 3 Kids Ago 12 designs

This Is My Circus These Are My Monkeys 10 designs

Losing My Mind One Kid at a Time 10 designs

Tired as a Mother 12 designs

Yes They Are All Mine 12 designs

Bad Moms Club 12 designs

It’s Not a Dad Bod It’s a Father Figure 10 designs

I Do My Own Stunts 12 designs

Laundry Today or Naked Tomorrow 12 designs

Get Naked Just Kidding This Is a Half Bath 10 designs

The Dishes Are Looking at Me Dirty Again 10 designs

Today’s Menu Eat It or Go Hungry 12 designs

Stressed Is Desserts Spelled Backwards 12 designs

Welcome-ish 12 designs

My Weekend Is All Booked 12 designs

Born to Hunt Forced to Work 12 designs

I Paused My Game to Be Here 12 designs

I’m Only Talking to My Dog Today 12 designs

Love Them Spoil Them Give Them Back 10 designs

Nacho Average Teacher 12 designs

Break in Case of Emergency 12 designs

RV There Yet 12 designs

Oh Ship It’s a Family Trip 12 designs

Dear Santa I Can Explain 12 designs

On the Naughty List and I Regret Nothing 10 designs

Deck the Halls Not Your Family 10 designs

Let It Snow Somewhere Else 10 designs

Gobble Till You Wobble 12 designs

Let’s Get Basted 12 designs

Kiss Me Now Midnight Is Past My Bedtime 10 designs

Poop SVG 14 designs

Toilet paper SVG 15 designs

Where each joke gets its laugh

A joke needs the right surface. Probably Late for Something belongs on a tote bag at 220 mm wide or a travel mug at 70 mm. Welcome-ish is a doormat joke: paint it through the stencil version at about 420 mm wide with outdoor paint and a stiff brush. Honk If a Kid Falls Out goes on the rear window of the family car, 200 mm wide in white permanent vinyl.

Break in Case of Emergency is made for a box frame with a bar of chocolate or a bank note behind the glass. Cut it 150 mm wide in red or white vinyl and stick it to the glass itself, not the backing.

A joke has to be read at a glance

Someone passing has a second or two to read a shirt. Short sayings of two or three words can afford a script. Long ones, such as I Had My Patience Tested I’m Negative, read faster in the block capitals or the bold version, where every letter is upright and the lines are stacked into a compact block.

On a mug, keep the whole saying inside 80 mm so it can be read without turning the mug. If the letters of a long saying fall under 6 mm tall at that width, move it to something bigger.

Jokes for the season

Several of these come out once a year. For Christmas jumpers and pyjamas: Dear Santa I Can Explain, On the Naughty List and I Regret Nothing, Deck the Halls Not Your Family and Let It Snow Somewhere Else. For the Thanksgiving apron: Gobble Till You Wobble and Let’s Get Basted. For the family holiday: RV There Yet and Oh Ship It’s a Family Trip.

Questions

Is anything here too rude for a family shirt?

Nothing has a swear word spelt out. The cheekiest are a bathroom sign, a chicken’s bottom and a smiling poop. Read the saying aloud before you cut it for a school event.

Can I change a word, such as the number of children?

Yes. Open the block capitals version, ungroup it, delete the word and type your own in the same typeface, which is named on the design’s page and free to install.

Which ones suit a gift for a tired mum?

Tired as a Mother, Losing My Mind One Kid at a Time, This Is My Circus These Are My Monkeys and Yes They Are All Mine. The Mother’s Day page has the kinder ones.

Are there funny pictures as well as words?

A few. The poop and toilet paper sets are on this page, and the kawaii page gathers the food and objects drawn with faces.